Healing the Hidden Wounds of Disordered Eating with Dr. Katheryn Zerbe
Wanna hear a secret?
You know that feeling when someone says, “Wanna hear a secret?” and suddenly your ears perk up? Secrets are juicy. But they’re also heavy, sneaky little burdens that shape our relationships, our bodies, and even how we eat. Seriously.
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Today, we’re diving back into the murky waters of secrets with none other than the incredible Dr. Katheryn Zerbe. If you’ve been around the UDE fam for a while, you’ll remember her from our earlier episode on secrets and eating disorders (if not, press pause and go listen to that one first—we’ll wait).
This time around, we're cracking open the vault even wider. Dr. Zerbe—psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, prolific author, and possibly part-time mythologist—is here to explore what secrets do to our bodies, why we keep them, and how they might just be fueling more than your midnight snack cravings. We talk about hidden lives, family dynamics, shame spirals, the difference between privacy and secrecy, and why sharing everything on social media isn’t the flex some think it is.
Kathryn Zerbe, MD, FAED, FABP, is a psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, and author of over 150 clinical papers, book chapters, reviews, and 4 books. Her publications include the landmark volumes: The Body Betrayed: Women, Eating Disorders, and Treatment (1993) and Integrated Treatment of Eating Disorders: Beyond the Body Betrayed (2008).
Currently, Dr. Zerbe is in private practice of psychoanalysis and psychodynamic psychotherapy in Portland and a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Oregon Health and Science University. She has received numerous awards for her teaching and writing contributions, including the Alexandra Symonds Award from the American Psychiatric Association and the Edith Sabshin Teaching Award from the American Psychoanalytic Association. In 2011, she was awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award by the National Eating Disorders Association. In 2022, she gave the 19th G. Phillip Wilson Lecture for lifetime contributions in psychosomatic medicine.
In this episode, we’re talking about:
The sneaky ways secrets regulate our emotions—and our eating.
Why secrecy can feel like protection but act like poison.
The fine line between privacy, secrecy, and just plain avoidance.
How eating disorders can be both a symptom and a safeguard against deeper relational issues.
The biological toll of holding secrets—and why your nervous system deserves a little compassion.
What double lives actually look like (spoiler: they’re not just for spy movies).
The ethics of secret-keeping, especially for therapists and clinicians.
How sharing isn’t always healing—context, boundaries, and timing are everything.
Why therapists often overlook their patients’ strengths (yep, that’s a secret too).
And the ultimate goal: feeling more vital, more connected, and more you—one well-held or well-shared secret at a time.
Tweetable Quotes
"Your secrets tell us who we are, but too many secrets with huge content areas that we keep out." - Dr. Kathryn Zerbe
"Eating disorders are often hidden in plain view." - Dr. Kathryn Zerbe
"Secrets may be the greatest problem of all. We don't look at the toll they take on the mind or the body." - Dr. Kathryn Zerbe
"Secrets also make us very aware of where our boundary lies." - Dr. Kathryn Zerbe
“ Transparency and sharing the content of a secret or information that might be private is not the point here. It's not about the content. It's not about people knowing. It's about what happens to you and your internal state and your relationships when the secret happens.” - Rachelle Heinemann
"We all need somebody to talk to." - Dr. Kathryn Zerbe
Resources
Learn More About Dr. Kathryn Zerbe Here!
Get access to Dr. Zerbe’s newest book: Secrets in Psychotherapy: Stories that Inform Clinical Work.
Use code 25AFLY1 for 20% off!
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Related Episodes
Episode 157. What People Got Incredibly Wrong About Eating Disorders
Episode 147. Social Media and Eating Disorders with Lily Thrope, LCSW
Episode 146. Caring Less About What Others Think
Episode 128. Sex and Eating Disorders with Dr. Judith Brisman
Episode 126. Lying, Deception, and Eating Disorders with Tom Wooldridge, PsyD, ABPP, FIPA, CEDS-S
Episode 93. Eating Disorders as a Way to Communicate with Dr. Elizabeth Hamlin
Episode 82. Secrets and Eating Disorders with Dr. Kathryn Zerbe
Episode 27. Eating Disorders and the Mind/Body Disconnect with Danielle Novack, Ph.D
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Hey there! I’m Rachelle, the host of the Understanding Disordered Eating Podcast. As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, I work with clients to make sense of life’s messy emotional experiences.
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