No one is leaving a podcast episode and going to research assertiveness frameworks. You’re not pulling up a list of communication strategies while your boss is standing in front of you or while someone is waiting for an answer. That’s not how this works in real life. So instead of more theory, this episode is about what this actually looks like in real conversations. The small shifts that sound simple, but feel very different when you’re the one saying them. We’re getting into how to stop the automatic yes without swinging to the other extreme, how to say no without turning it into a full explanation of your entire life, and how to actually say what’s on your mind in a way that’s clear and still respectful.

When someone firmly establishes a boundary, that’s part of what we’d call being assertive. These qualities go hand in hand. For a lot of folks, it’s the hardest thing to do and we practice doing so in recovery. In contrast, there are totally those who don’t have a problem with voicing their opinions and clearly stating their boundaries but it can come across as pretty aggressive. I don’t consider the “aggressive” way of interacting assertive. In fact, it’s the other side of the same issue as not speaking up enough. That’s why I say 100% of people struggle with assertiveness because it comes from one side or another.