The unconditional love we have for our families can be incredibly healing, especially for those who have struggled with eating disorders. Parenthood, with its inherent love and acceptance, can serve as a powerful motivator for recovery. Yet, as much as we cherish these moments, we also recognize the challenges they bring, particularly for individuals with eating disorders.

We should be exploring questions around the perception that excessive weight is a health problem, the dangers of intentional weight loss, and the conversations that uncover this controversial topic.

Just last year, The American Academy of Pediatrics put out (terrible) guidelines, that in a nutshell, give the “go-ahead” to evaluate children for weight loss medication and/or surgery. Weight loss surgery is completely irreversible. So why is it being recommended? There are many challenges that individuals will face when deciding to undergo weight loss surgery. Not only the painful physical challenges but the mental and emotional ones as well.

Everyone seems to have an opinion, you've probably encountered unsolicited advice and opinions from well-meaning (or not-so-well-meaning) friends or family. But here's the thing – You are not on a mission to help them see the world the way that you do. You are not on a mission to help them understand intuitive eating and eating disorder recovery.

When we view mental illnesses as medical illnesses, we are going to miss the nuance that is associated with emotions and psychology. There is no official proven line of treatment (I mean meds here) for eating disorders. But typically the individual also has some version of insert mental illness here and meds could be really helpful.

Someone who is more prone to feeling intolerable emotions is generally more prone to lean into any sort of eating disorder behaviors, substance abuse, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. The feelings they feel are so big and so intolerable, no wonder they’ll want relief from the pain.

So I think the biggest question here is: if you are a person who is highly sensitive, how do you deal with intense emotions?

But the question is, why is this a controversial topic? MAID is not a new construct. It has been utilized around the world with different controversies for many years as a way of ethically, compassionately, and humanely allowing people to have a dignified way of dying. In modern-day science or modern psychology, we don’t have a way to alleviate the suffering of someone who is battling a severe mental health condition. While I acknowledge that different medications serve their purposes, the question remains: why is there a difference between “mental illnesses” and “physical illnesses”? Is there even a difference?

I'm sure many of you have experienced this, especially after spending time with family during the holidays. Whether it's a recent struggle or an ongoing issue, the key question is why you don't want to eat. Yes, it might sound cliché, and you probably saw it coming from me, but it's crucial because your answer guides the approach.

What comes to mind when you hear the term “body positivity”? First off, it’s become a mainstream concept. Body neutrality, all foods fit, and body positivity are all terms to describe a phase of coming to terms with your body. However, we have to recognize that this approach may not resonate with everyone seeking help. While we shift towards inclusivity, we also inadvertently exclude individuals who may not be ready or comfortable with these concepts. These individuals hear these terms and think “Nope, I want nothing to do with this” and run from treatment. 

There is a cultural shift within the Orthodox Jewish community due to the internet, where appearance ideals have become pervasive, challenging the community's perceived protective measures. The learning curve lies in recognizing these changes and understanding that even with a more insular lifestyle, the community is not immune to the impact of societal influences on body image and eating habits.

When someone firmly establishes a boundary, that’s part of what we’d call being assertive. These qualities go hand in hand. For a lot of folks, it’s the hardest thing to do and we practice doing so in recovery. In contrast, there are totally those who don’t have a problem with voicing their opinions and clearly stating their boundaries but it can come across as pretty aggressive. I don’t consider the “aggressive” way of interacting assertive. In fact, it’s the other side of the same issue as not speaking up enough. That’s why I say 100% of people struggle with assertiveness because it comes from one side or another.

Let’s first acknowledge that there is no fixed framework for the therapeutic relationship. We know that each person's experience is unique. How close we get to the edges of this metaphorical frame varies from person to person and might change over time. But ultimately, most sessions follow a set of “rules”.

David and I have a conversation no one is having in the eating disorder world. To be clear, no one is having because of the protective feelings we have about the ED community and how we understand it to be most helpful to those who are struggling. Me included. I do know that for a lot of ED clinicians, concerns about backlash and fear of being canceled have prevented more open dialogue about the complicated nature of different types of foods.

*If you currently have an active eating disorder and have a lot of rules in your mind, this post may be best for you to read later until you have fewer rules in your mind*

Learn more about eating disorder therapy and treatment in NYC and Brooklyn with Rachelle Heinemann at rachelleheinemann.com.

Why do people keep secrets?!

The ability to keep secrets is actually a developmental milestone. As humans, we need a sense of our own mind; we all need a sense of privacy. When a child starts to have more of a sense of self, their capacity to keep secrets increases. Secrets are not inherently bad; it is quite a milestone.

The problem becomes when secret keeping is not solely for the purpose of having a bit of space to ourselves. When it becomes obvious to a kid that something bad is happening and they get implicit (or explicit) messages to keep things quiet. When it becomes clear to a child that sharing more of themselves is not welcome. Or, when a teen needs to assert themselves so loudly in order to let others know they’ve individuated when they feel smothered.

Learn more about eating disorder therapy and treatment in NYC and Brooklyn with Rachelle Heinemann at rachelleheinemann.com.

It’s hard to determine whether a loved one is suffering from an eating disorder or not. The good thing is, that there are signs that you can look out for that can help you know when to start a conversation. In this episode, I talk about red flags and warning signs. If you see someone you love who might be experiencing any of these, you can go way back to episode 9 about what the heck to do. Spoiler: unconditional support and love go a long way.

I know that I talk quite a bit about the deeper meaning of different eating disorder symptoms and behaviors. But sometimes, especially right after a binge, what you need is tips to help in the moment. In this episode I share 5 tips to keep in mind after a binge.

That obviously doesn’t mean that we forget about the function of the binge. The binge is there for a reason. It is there to help us manage really difficult emotional experiences. Chances are, if you are still bingeing, it’s actually doing so effectively. Except that now the binges have become their own problem. So now you got the underlying stuff and the binge itself. If you’re not yet in a place to try to understand the function of your binges, or if you’ve just binged and don’t feel like thinking about anything else, be sure to listen to the end to get all 5 tips.

We seem to think that disordered eating is a girl thing, perhaps because that’s what the “numbers” tell us. But the numbers only reflect people who get help and people who know they have a problem. For various reasons, that doesn't quite frequently happen in men. Aaron and I talk about what may be similar or different in ED’s in men. And we talk about shame.

Sprinkled into this episode is Aaron’s Star Wars love and his knack for taking lessons from the series. You can’t see but his office is full of Star Wars paraphernalia.

Stay tuned until the end, we chat a bit about clinicians who have their own ED and disordered eating struggles. I won’t say more about that here, you’ll have to listen! 🙊

Aaron Flores is a registered dietitian nutritionist based out of Los Angeles, California. He also works at Center for Discovery as Senior Coordinator for Weight-Inclusive Care He uses Intuitive Eating and Health at Every Size® in his work to help individuals learn how to make peace with food and their bodies. He is a Certified Body Trust® provider and he also the co-host of the popular podcast, Dietitians Unplugged.

Unlike any other disorder in the DSM (diagnostic bible for mental illness), eating disorders have become glamorous and even enviable. “OMG how do you eat so little?” and “You’re so good. You work out at the gym all the time.” Robyn and I talk about how in the world this happened and what to do about it. Robyn also shares some possible impacts of restriction on the body.

Robyn is a Certified Eating Disorders Registered Dietitian and Supervisor in private practice in Los Angeles, CA and has been in the field for 25 years! She is a contributing author and is a nationally and internationally known registered dietitian nutritionist. She has been quoted in The New York Times, The Huffington Post, Vogue, The Fix, Shape Magazine, Fitness, Oxygen, Pilates Style, Diabetes Forecast, BH Weekly, and Life & Style. She has been on national television as the eating disorder expert on The Insider.   Robyn is the author of the new book The Eating Disorder Trap: A Guide for Clinicians and Loved Ones and the host of the podcast The Eating Disorder Trap Podcast.

Yaffi Lvova is an experienced Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and a proud mom of twins plus one. She earned a BA in Religious Studies and a BS in Nutrition and Dietetics from Arizona State University and went on to complete the Iowa State University dietetic internship. Yaffi is a published author of several books on feeding kids and is the creator of Toddler Test Kitchen. Yaffi supports parents through her social media, public speaking, and Nap Time Nutrition podcast and YouTube channel.

In today’s episode, Yaffi shares what she has learned from working with closely kids. Kids have a simple way to approach life. They are full of vigor and energy and excitement. They also soak everything up so whatever is in their environment is internalized. By listening to this conversation, we can better understand, perhaps, why we have a certain running narrative in our head and what we can do to reverse that narrative.

In today’s episode, Stephanie and I chat about running. We cover what a healthy relationship with running looks like and how to tell if that may be a problem for you. We talk about what may be behind your running and what function it may be serving you. Stay tuned until the end when we share tips on what you can actually do if your running is complicated for you.

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg, LCSW, CEDS-S is a psychotherapist/psychoanalyst in New York City.  She operates a small group practice focusing on treating eating disorders through an anti-diet, HAES lens. Stephanie’s niche is working within the intersection of eating disorders and sports, particularly with folks who participate in endurance sports.  Stephanie herself is a runner and triathlete and is passionate about incorporating movement into eating disorder treatment to help folks feel empowered and connected to their bodies. Stephanie teaches on the subject of eating disorders and exercise at the William Alanson White Institute in NYC. When Stephanie is not working, she can be found running around with her two small children, or her running group.